Jul
13
Posted on 07-13-2007 at 09:14pm
Battered, Bruised and Silky Smooth!
Filed Under (Cycling) by Tim Coble on 07-13-2007

As is often the case, the first week of this year’s Tour de France saw its fair share of carnage. Whether due to nervous energy and hopes of making an early mark or the onset of fatigue and good old fashioned bad luck, more than a few riders – including several favorites for the overall win – went wheels-up during the first seven days of racing. In addition to adding a bit of excitement to stages that were otherwise a bit on the vanilla side, these crashes once again raised one of the perennial questions of the sport: What’s with all these guys shaving their legs?

For some reason, this particular cycling practice stands out as odd to the casual observer. Years of torturous training? Fine. Months spent away from home and family? Not a problem. Risking life and limb as a matter of course? Done. Gams that are as bald as Britney Spears? Gonna have to think about that one… Embracing the razor is something of a rite of passage for the serious rider and a great way to invite mockery for mere novices. If an average guy shows up at a local club ride sporting shaved legs, chances are he deserves whatever ridicule his buddies heap upon him. For your typical rider, shaving their legs is as much of an empty gesture as voting libertarian in a presidential election. (Hi honey, how’s your vacation going?)

But when a serious rider reaches the level at which hairless legs become a necessity, that’s something worthy of respect. When cyclists hit the deck at 30+ mph, which they regularly do, odds are good that they’ll need to purchase a few carbon offsets to compensate for the organic material they’re leaving embedded in the road. The occasional snicker from the cheap seats is, in my book, a fair price to pay to remove hair pulling from the equation of peeling bandages off of several square feet of road rash.

Still, I can understand how a guy shaving his legs is something that the average person would have a hard time wrapping their mind around – especially for a sport that seems a little “iffy” to begin with. Plus, it raises an important logistical question. If you start at the ankles and work your way up, where do you stop? The harrier a guy is, the worse it’s going to look if he only commits half way.

So let’s put this one out to the ladies: What would the conversation be like if your man came home and asked if you have a razor that he could borrow? Setting aside any logical rationale he may have for doing it, how would you feel about the guy in your life sporting legs that are smoother than yours? Kinda creepy or just maybe kinky fun? What do you say when the girls start asking, “Hey, what’s the deal with Bob’s legs?” Do you go with ‘serious bicycle rider’ or are you thinking ‘trying out an alternative lifestyle’ is going to be easier to sell? This is your chance to chime in and to let your guy know where you stand on the subject before he finds out the hard way.

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Comments

Katherine Coble on 13 July, 2007 at 9:19 pm #

So help me God, if you shave your legs I will make you sleep on the couch for a month or until it all grows back–one or the other.

Don’t even think it.


john h on 13 July, 2007 at 9:19 pm #

Great finish!!


lcreekmo on 13 July, 2007 at 10:02 pm #

Well I’m not a serious bike rider. But I can totally get why you’d want to shave if you are. I don’t find it creepy, but I suspect there will be questions from random passers-by.


Malia on 13 July, 2007 at 10:25 pm #

how would you feel about the guy in your life sporting legs that are smoother than yours?

When I neglect to shave for…awhile…it’s really moot point now isn’t it?


S&F on 13 July, 2007 at 11:28 pm #

Mrs. Fat has already been informed if I place top 3 in any race…I’ll shave, but not until that happens.


Grace on 14 July, 2007 at 3:02 am #

Oy… I understand why one would shave their legs for cycling–I used to do the long distance cycling for gawds sake…

But… if a guy chooses to shave his legs for this (or any) purpose, then he must commit to it fully. I, as a hairy-ish woman, have to shave DAILY (sometimes twice!) to keep anything resembling smooth legs. I cannot stand stubble on my own legs, let alone on someone elses.

So if you are one of the men-folk who choose to go aerodynamic and shave off the hair, make sure you keep it up. It’ll be much easier to garner support from the woman in your life for your… sharp choices if you keep it up and make it as painless and non-prickly as possible.

You don’t like the prickly legs rubbing up against you in the middle of the night, do you?


Tim on 14 July, 2007 at 6:32 am #

S&F: With all due respect, your opinion doesn’t count. As you’re clearly the beneficiary of some special dispensation that allows you to refer to your wife as “Mrs. Fat” without mortal consequences, you’ve reached a plateau of invulnerability to which few of us can relate.


ceeelcee on 14 July, 2007 at 10:58 am #

If I ever finish in the top three of any race, I’m getting the full Brazilian.


Patrick on 14 July, 2007 at 9:18 pm #

Tim, you’ve seen this? http://www.ubilabs.net/tourdefrance/


S&F on 14 July, 2007 at 11:26 pm #

CLC, I’ll see your Brazilian, and raise you…should I win…a full blown Deuce Bigilo ass waxing.

NOTE: If a Brazilian includes this feature, I retract my comment. I’ve never been to Brazil, and even if I had been…I doubt I’ve got the game to learn this first hand.


Spanky on 16 July, 2007 at 12:40 pm #

Funny post. I started shaving years ago in Colorado when I was racing road and mountain far too seriously. My wife was startled the first time I did it, but shortly thereafter proclaimed that she liked them better that way and would gripe if I let them start growing out in the off-season.

In Colorado, it was a FAR more common site seeing a man with smooth legs. Lots of pro and amateur teams, plus triathletes, etc. train out there along the front range. In fact, on the average group ride or weekly crit, the guy with hairy legs was the one likely to endure ridicule, regardless of his skill level.

I do think it is more a cycling culture thing than a necessity (except when you wreck or get a massage). It’s an visual cue, like a brand, that identifies you as one of the cult. Can’t tell you how many fellow cyclists I’ve met off the bike because of that (say what you will, we’re all married).

Nowadays, I find myself back on the bike with a passion and, yet again, sporting shaved legs. In Nashville, this is a much less frequent sight, but honestly I could give a crap less what someone else thinks - if you get it you do, if you don’t, well it’s not for you anyway. It motivates me - I better be friggin’ riding if I’m going to do it, otherwise it IS a little “iffy.” Ha. And it is an on-going affirmation of my membership in the tribe. It works for me.

P.S. I hate rest day during the Tour.