Honestly, what its all about is doing it for Mama or Grandma, the matriarch of the family. When the grandparents pass on, these traditions usually end and then new ones are started. There is something quite honorable about going to these gatherings, especially if it is a family you married into. If you are going to be married to someone, its just part of the package.

Yeah, my wife’s family does that family get-together. one generation started it and now the second one has taken it over. As an outsider, it’s interesting - and kinda akin to people watching at the Opry or something. On my side of things, we know better. That’s what funerals are for. I’ll see those people when somebody kicks the bucket.

I’ve asked this question so many times! And that family dynamic is exactly why I don’t attend most of these “get togethers”.

Jim, that’s funny. Funerals really are reunion times though. So are weddings. Everybody says stuff like “Its so good to see you”, while thinking otherwise.

Yeah, Glen. The last time, my cousin looked at me and said, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” And we both grinned.

as crazy as they can be, i enjoy doing the family get togethers over the holidays, even vacations. i also enjoy my families reunion.

it is nutty, and i might get pissed about something said, but it is also joyful at times. does it always have to be happy happy to be worthy of doing?

We all do it because nobody likes to see Grandma cry.

That, and we can’t resist her cooking.

They mean the world to me but some of the dynamics that exist within the family sometimes cause more stress than joy. Which is why I’m here today, at home, reading blogs.

…and that explains why I stayed in Nashville for the holidays.

Why do people who really don’t particularly like each other force themselves to have together time for the holidays, just because they share DNA?

You don’t HAVE to. We all make choices. If your family of origin is so messed up that being together for the holidays causes psychic trauma (and I’m not being flippant, there are families where this is true) then just say no. Make another plan. Be with friends, partners and other loved ones.

Sometimes what we consider “family” is messed up.

This is a subject I got to deal with directly this year, well and every year. It sometimes can be quite taxing. However spending it with family is something I wouldn’t change for all the money in the world. These are the people that have seen you grow and change over the years. They are the people that like it or not will be linked with you forever. Part of the reason that we have the disfunction in families is that we don’t always put the work into preserving them that we should. Now I can hear the howls coming, so just save them. I do believe that relations wether they be family, freinds, or partners take work. We’ve some how come to believe that everything should be easy. Nothing worth having comes easy. Some of the most difficult expierences will be the ones that we chuckled the hardest about in reminisence. So I think I’ll just keep trying to hold the family together.