Feb
22
Posted on 02-22-2008 at 10:02am
Much better than that “Nashville Barbie” list
Filed Under (People) by Lesley on 02-22-2008

Which kind of Nashville commuter are you? I avoid getting out in Nashville traffic as much as possible, but I can tell you that even in my limited daily exposure, I frequently see one of each of the types Megan has listed.  My favorite:

The Hillbilly. Like the Floridian, the Hillbilly is most often found riding in the HOV lane at several miles per hour under the limit. The only entities capable of persuading the Hillbilly to move out of the way are the Pusher and a state trooper or Metro cop. However, unlike the Floridian, the Hillbilly is always riding alone and most likely in a vehicle that would best be described as “busted.” The Hillbilly’s vehicle might include any four-door sedan made before 1995, will have at least two hubcaps missing, at least 25 percent rust on the body, and may be utilizing a donut tire. If you see a vehicle that resembles the aforementioned and notice the license plate has tags from Bedford, Warren, Cheatham, Hickman, DeKalb or Cannon counties, you are driving near the Hillbilly. Roll up your window immediately to avoid projectile cigarette butts and the tell-tale sounds of Def Leppard.

Oh man. Yesterday, I was behind a Floridian (real, actual Florida tags) and a Hillbilly (Cheatham county, Dodge Neon) on West End. I was darn near close to losing my mind. Even though I was really in no hurry to be anywhere. Which reminds me–I didn’t see me on the list anywhere. I’m probably some combination of a couple of the ones listed. Megan’s list focuses mainly on interstate drivers, though. There are plenty of offensive drivers (myself included) on the surface streets. Like “Old Folks Going to the Pharmacy”–the people who only get out in traffic only to get their meds and some groceries…and drive about 10 miles per hour with their heads barely poking above the steering wheels of their large automobiles. And “A-Hole Rich College Kids Driving Cars I Can’t Afford”–they’re usually carting around a bunch of their friends and can hardly be bothered to pay attention to what they’re doing and/or are talking on their mobile phones.

Hmm…I sound a little bitter. Maybe I should move? But then I’d have to deal with Soccer Moms and Pushers…

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Comments

Jon on 22 February, 2008 at 10:39 am #

I mostly drive like “Mr. Important”, though I don’t have a luxury car, and I’m in no way important.


saraclark on 22 February, 2008 at 10:59 am #

I always watch the out of state plates very carefully as I commute through Downtown. Although I know all of the splits, merges and quirks of the 24-40-65-440 gordian knot, there is no way that tourist is going to be able to do it at 60-70mph like the rest of us and it only takes one, suddenly realizing that the road literally splits, to kill us all.

I am the person that drives past the 40E-440E backed up line in the morning, only to merge closer to the front of the line. I don’t push or barge, but I do time the traffic gap carefully.


dolphin on 22 February, 2008 at 11:31 am #

Surely you have “The Make-up Artist” to deal with in your morning commute as well.


Lesley on 22 February, 2008 at 1:22 pm #

Saraclark–you are one of the people that causes me to have a stroke and yell: “Oh, look as Ms. Important whose time is so much more valuable than everyone else’s!” Yes, I know this hurts no one but me.

Jon–nobody is that important.

Dolphin–I’ve always wondered about those ladies. Makes no sense to me at all. Their male counterparts are the ones reading the paper or a book while driving. That makes me insane.


Megan on 22 February, 2008 at 3:06 pm #

You know, I’ve never really seen anyone putting on make up while driving on I-24. I’ve seen a few doing it while traffic was at a complete stop, but I think that’s more something people do while driving in town. I have, however, seen numerous people–of all ages and genders–texting while going 80 mph, and that scares me more than anything.


Saturday News and Link Dump « This is La Vergne, TN on 23 February, 2008 at 10:25 am #

[…] kind of driver are you?  This is pretty funny stuff.  H/T: Music City Bloggers and Nashville is […]


david on 24 February, 2008 at 7:16 pm #

You know, I’ve never really seen anyone putting on make up while driving on I-24.

I once saw a classic case of this that ended in an accident on I-24 westbound between the Old Hickory Blvd. and Bell Road exits. A woman was obviously in a big hurry, but the traffic was stop-and-go. She kept weaving from lane to lane, and even worse she would do this thing where she allowed a big gap to open in front of her and then would accelerate rapidly to catch up to the car in front of her, at which point she would then usually switch lanes. I didn’t realize until I was closer to her that the reason for her erratic driving was that she was attempting to apply makeup. I kept watching her with some fascination. She had moved into the HOV lane at some point. The traffic began moving temporarily, and she repeated her routine of ignoring what was happening on the road and suddenly realizing a gap had opened in front of her. At this point, she again does her hard acceleration thing. Suddenly the traffic in front of her stopped, but she had turned her attention back to the application of her makeup. You can guess what happened. Her Lexus plowed into the rear end of the car that had stopped in front of her. There was some measure of justice involved, because the front end of her car was damaged pretty badly, while the car she hit only had minor damage.


the trooper on 7 March, 2008 at 3:54 am #

[…] TG? Drop a… 10-11-2006 10:16 AM by TG B Battlefield 2142 - General Discussiowww.tacticalgamer.comMuch better than that ???Nashville Barbie??? list Which kind of Nashville commuter are you? I avoid getting out in Nashville traffic as much as […]