Angela has some words of advice:

As the ad terms “Black-Friday” and “Tax-Free” has been known to create a frenzied aggression amongst American consumers, during these events, shoppers face an increased possibility of being trampled, whacked with a pack of Mead notebook paper,  poked in the eye with a protractor or attacked from behind with the last pair of Hannah Montana sandals.

To ensure your safety while shopping on the tax-free weekend: I’d recommend wearing toe-cleats, a long-sleeved shirt and pants to protect the limbs and shopping with a buddy whenever possible - as this helps eliminate rear-attacks.

If you are planning to purchase larger items, which could also be used as a weapon of self-defense, get those first.  You may also want to develop a menacing  “Don’ F~ck wit Me: I’m one bad Mother” look.

Eye-patches, fake tattoos and t-shirts bearing the image of gansta rap artists are effective in this area - and usually scare away most of the Baptists folks over 30.

If you opt to skip the crowds and purchase items online or over the telephone, allow yourself additional time to explain the holiday to people who have no clue what you’re talking about and don’t care.

There’s a whole lot more. It’s hysterical.